2005-10-27 - 9:58 p.m.
Every once and awhile, I like to pamper myself. It's not so much pampering, is more like making myself feel sexy. I don't do it every night, just every so often....I call it"Making myself feel sexy!" It makes me feel good, and plus that it's pampering. What I do is light alot of candles around my appartmen, run a super hot bath in my Bear Claw bath tub, (I swear to god, this tub is so deep, so big, you can fit three people in it!)Turn on some music, get a glass of wine and then proceed to soak. While I'm in the tub, I exfoliate, shave my legs, shave under my arms, and I cannot forget to shave that favorite spot of mine......my pussy. And then I soak some more with my glass of wine. After being in the tub for about an hour, I get out, put baby oil on me('cause it makes my skin sooo soft!), walk around my appartment naked for a bit, then I'll find a nice nail polish and paint my toes, curl my hair, walk around naked a bit more, and then, I'll look in my undies drawer and find one of my most exspensive lacey "LaSenza" panties and put on one of my "LaSenza" satin Babydolls, get another glass of wine and just sit and relax, stare at my painted Burgandy toes, and think. Lately since I've been doing my little "Get Sexy" ritual, when I'm done and relaxing, I start thinking of Kristian....and it pisses me off. It pisses me off 'cause my feelings for him have changed. Here I went from almost falling for the guy to just thinking about Fucking him. I get urges(Like the one I'm having now) to just call him up, tell him Im wearing pink, lacey panties for him and nothing else, and that I want him to come over so I can show him how much "I love Cock!" But, alas, I don't.....I mean why should I really. I can self gratify, I have no problems doing that wharsoever, do it about 7-9 times aday anyways. It's the fact that, if he wants me, he can come to me....he's the one missing out. My girlfriend keeps telling me that I still have an emotional attatchment to him, maybe she's right....but for now, I just want to screw him. I'm tired of games, and getting hurt, for once,I want to be the one doing the game playing and the hurting......but I know it's not in my nature.
